"Thy rod and thy staff they comfort me"

Discipline was not a word in my vocabulary. I did it my way as often as I wanted to without regard for others or myself. That’s the way things were with me when I was under the influence. Twenty years went by like that.. like a ship without a rudder being blown here and there. I got what I deserved..  total moral and spiritual bankruptcy.

There are the 12 steps, but there are also 10 commandments.

They told me it was not a drinking disease but a thinking disease. I had to change the way I thought in order to see the results in my life. It takes time and lots and lots of willingness. I could see the benefits in the changing lives of the people in the rooms of recovery. I saw the smiles on the faces of those who I knew had been completly hopeless before. I could see the serenity in those with time. I wanted that.. I wanted that more than anything in this world.

... they said I could have it, because it was not of this world... As Christ said “I give you my peace.. not as the world gives peace.”

I am finally starting to realize that I am not really giving up anything I want, only that which was holding me back for so many years. As my sponsor always says.. It’s not what you know its what you don’t know” Discipline is still a daily struggle for me, but I know in my heart that I am making progress through understanding the truth about my Lord through the word and the rooms of recovery.

Today, because I attend meetings regularly, I see the results of those of us who will not discipline themselves.... they are disciplined by others.... jails institutions or death but for the grace of God. Believe me... Recovery is an easier softer way!