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Step One... I can't
Two things to think about...powerlessness and unmanagebility.
If you are reading this you probably have a problem and at this stage,it is characteristically the “Phenomenon of Craving”. That is.. when we start, we gotta have more baby! It may not happen every time, but it happens enough (do ya feel me). I guess a big thing here to remember is that although we are indeed powerless and maybe a bit hopeless, we are NOT helpless.
What do we do?
If your a drinker candy helps, but our best advice is to get our butts to a recovery meeting everyday for 90 days so that some of the know how of recovery can get where it needs to be... between our ears.
YES it is true what they say... we really are a lot sicker than we think we are...think about it...addiction is a mental illness.
I WAS TOLD MENTAL ILLNESS WAS A ILLNESS THAT TELLS YOU YOUR NOT ILL AND IT TELLS YOU IN YOUR OWN VOICE! Whoaaaa!
The 2nd part of the first step with MY SPONSOR! went something like this...
“What does the word unmanageable mean to you?”
“Ahhhhhh”
“It means you need to fire the manager because he’s doing a stinking job...haven’t you had enough!”
“Yes I guess so"
"YOU GUESS...What part of incomprehensible demoralization don't you understand?!! "
"Yes I have had enough...but who do I get for a new manager” I squeak
“The man upstairs!” he booms
"but.. but how will I do that”
“Are you willing to go to any length?”
"Yes I am"
"Remember you said that Poncho... now let’s move on to the second step."
Step Two.. He can
Came, Came to, Came to believe. That’s how it works. It’s gonna take some time to clear up those years and years of drinking or whatever... so don’t get in a rush. You didn’t get here over night and you ain’t gonna get all better zip-a-dee-do-da either... so just slow down there partner.
Just keep doing what your doing... that is, going to those dang meetings and don’t drink or drug even if your butt falls off.
They told me that if I drank or drugged that the first thing to go would be the progress that has been made on the God connection. Not the progress I had been making, but the progress God had been making. They told me... “ He’s chasing you!” so as long as your home... eventually you will hear the knock on the door again, but you have to stay home... do not check out with drugs or alcohol.
I started to go on about all my beliefs and they told me... We don't care about what you believe because you have been on the wrong path. Riddle me this Batman... where were you the day before you walked into the rooms? Nuff said! We are trying to get you onto the right path. If you want what we have then you will do what we do... and that is.... following the path of those who came before.
Not your path of self destruction, but our path of developing a new manner of living.....just relax...relax. We know it works just have faith.
Step Three.. I think i'll let him
As our good friend Kenny puts it.. there were three frogs sitting on a log. One made a decision to jump. How many frogs were left on the log. The answer is of course three, because it was just a decision, it did not require action. This is step three. We are only making a decision.
Another good friend in the program always asks me
“What are your options?”
.. this would be the option of making a decision to turn our life over to the will of God or running the show on self will AGAIN! I can tell ya when I crawled in here I did not want to run the show anymore for I had nearly killed myself a few times. It’s like they said... The day I got a sponsor was the day I took my life out of the hands of an idiot.
Hummmmm.... Do I really think after 10 hard years of addiction that I can get my life back on track doing things my way?
....or should I try something new?
I know the answer to that one, but the big question is DO YOU?
If you decided to try the new route proceed to step Four. If not... go back and repeat step two.
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