4th Step
The main thing to remember about the forth is that it is not the fifth. Do not worry about what you are going to say or whom you are going to say it to. Focus on your current step. Be fearless... all your doing is writing it down... that's it! Follow the direction in the big book for best results.
5th Step
This step is a little more involved so lets take a look at a few things before we proceed...
1. My sponsor told me that I only had to do this thing once. He said if I kept the steps in my life, that step 10 would take care of things after I had completed step five.
2. My sponsor said that he did not care who I did the step with, as long as I could look them in the eye. He suggested a priest or maybe even a total stranger or himself, if that was what I wanted to do and felt comfortable with it.
3. Please review your ideas about this step with a trusted sponsor before you proceed. Real honesty can be a bit dangerous. Trouble can occur... so rather than head out on your own, talk to your sponsor about it. It may save you much difficulty later on.
For us this step was the beginning of our true connection in recovery. After we had completed this step, we all felt a part of.... no longer apart from recovery groups. We beg of you however to be fearless, for holding back here will not result in the success you need.
Again... if you have any questions or doubts about what you are doing or the way to do it...Please review your concerns with your sponsor.
I remember telling myself...
“ well I think I’m gonna tell um this, but I’m not too sure about that and I damn sure ain’t gonna tell um that one...”
Relax... there is nothing to fear but fear itself. You're gonna do fine.
6th Step
Entirely ready? Let’s think just a moment about that. Our biggest addiction was the one God removes from us one day at a time so why won’t this work on the rest of them.
Your right...It Will!
Now let’s think about this....
Do we want to go back? Is there something we left behind? Are we sure we have had enough? Someone said today in our morning meeting “I can always come back” WRONG You cannot always come back... John killed himself the other day because he overdosed on Oxies. Fred died last week when the car he was driving drunk flipped in the canal... he drowned. Joan is not coming anymore because she got Aids after a drunken spree last spring. So you see you cannot always come back. You are “Welcome” to come back, but you may not make it if you try the desperate experiment again.
SO back to our question “Are we entirely ready?”
We really hope you are!
As with the drinking/drugging thing that held us in its grip for some time. We must understand that the reason we were able to put that down was because We were not the one’s that did it, but our Father in heaven! He who loves us and will aid us anyway he can for he loves unconditionally........... but!....We Must Let Him love Us as we did in that last case. Think about it when we surrendered we won! Simple but not easy.
Had you beaten yourself up, like we did, to a point of complete submission over that drug or alcohol problem? The point is we don’t need to do that... we can but allow his love to help us anytime we like for any problem. We don’t have to go to the dark cellar floor for all these ego issues we can just let go of our way and follow his way right now by allowing his love to carry us.
7th Step
Do you know WHAT prayer is? Prayer is getting down on your knees all alone with no one else but you and your God.
That’s what it is.
Do you know WHY prayer is? It’s to build self honesty so you can TRULY make the divine connection. Who can lie when you are talking to God on your knees all alone.
Trust us when we sing
He knows that you’ve been drinking...
He knows when your AWAKE!!!!
He know if you’ve been bad or good so be good for goodness sake!
So the song goes...
Anyway
All you have to do here is humbly ask him to remove your shortcomings as best you can... I remember thinking “I can’t even be honest”
Hey.. we had all been living that lie for many many years. It is hard to be honest but it gets easier with practice... so practice prayer on your knees all alone.... humbly
We know it works... try it.
No where does the expression “ Practice makes perfect “ fit better than right here.
Here are a few things about prayer that you may or may not be aware of:
1. Prayer is the only way to really affect change, for the honesty that is required for actually revealing yourself to your maker is the essential essence for the loving amazing transformation. That’s one reason why this is step 7. You are clearing up... and clearing up is needed for real honesty.
2. You do not need to pray in front of anyone, however when two or more are praying together in sincerity ( ie you and your wife, friends or strangers ) it can be much much more powerful. The moral to that story is that when you need more UMPF hook up, it helps.
At this point in our recovery we need to muster the willingness to place more trust into God’s hands. MORE HUMILITY!
Humbly Ask! be sure to ask because until we did we did not get an answer and answers are what we need...... His Answers not Ours!
8th Step
You have to do this, but remember this is only a list... don't worry about the next step because your not here yet... remember stay fearless!
9th Step
Take it easy. Timing and tack play a big part here. There is always a proper time to make amends. Talk with your sponsor if you are not sure of how to make it. Easy does it but do it. I think the best thing I ever heard about this step was that it's not just about making the amends, but it's all about not doing those same things again to anyone else in your life. Not only are you apologizing, but you are also deciding that you sincerely no longer intend to do these things. Don't worry no ones gonna shoot you.... we hope.
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